i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
