Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
