Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
