Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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