she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
