And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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