She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
