It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
