Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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