yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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