I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
