I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
