Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize