why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do vagina's smell?
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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