How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i love accidental penises.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
