You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
