I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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