the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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