remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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