1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
