stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize