So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
