In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
