Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
