So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
