I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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