Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
