Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize