So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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