So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
