yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
