Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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