do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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