I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
