that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize