I love black thongs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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