Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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