just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
