How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
