dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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