dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
