you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
