halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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