Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
