You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
