Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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