I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize