Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
