how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want a musical about memes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize