Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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