I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
