Pants 0. Shit 1.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
