Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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