i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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