i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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