they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
