my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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