dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
