I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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