At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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