that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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