it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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