He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
