He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize