Im at strip club and am horny
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
