I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No subtext here. People are naked.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
