I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
