just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
