It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
