Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
