Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
