Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize