She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
